My Breakthrough Moment and the Power of Choice

Yesterday, I had one of those breakthrough days. You know those times when everything just flows, like the thoughts and ideas were not coming from me but from a deeper, higher source and there was no resistance in my aura.

How did I get there, you ask?

I have no f#*ing clue.

At the urgent prompt of a friend, I had to go back and dissect my day (to figure out what I had done to align my universe so perfectly and effortlessly. Was it something I ate? The side of the bed? A little extra kick in my nightime ashwagandha? The fact that it was seemingly random and unreplicable was troubling to me. If I could bottle and sell this formula I’d be a billionaire, right?

Sadly, as with all things that have to do with psychodynamism and spirit, transience is inherent in its nature. Every moment must be distinct from the next, by design. But there was something I did that stood out — I made choices.

Let’s to back to the night before. I was actually stressed out because my baby girl had a puzzling stomach ache that I could not figure out. We’ve seen doctors, done tests, and yet here she was coiled up in fetal position with a throbbing pain in her abdomen. I could feel myself spiraling into inadequacy and fear. Then something in me urged a change of course, to think beyond. “I’m going to think differently about this and figure it out”, I committed to myself.

I slept well that night. I noticed that due to a malfunctioning bedside lamp, I switched sides on the bed. This particular nighstand was empty, in sharp contrast to the one on my side which is cluttered with books and accessories I’ve shed from the day and my phone, the eternal source of life. Perhaps the openness of the space contributed to the expansiveness of my dreams. I woke up on the right side, so to speak.

The next morning my daughter’s pain still persisted but I was comfortably assured we were going to figure it out. I chose not to let self doubt get in the way. (An hour later after a call with a doctor friend we had a plan in place to diagnose the issue that I was happy with). Most days after I see my son off, I try to fit in a 10–15 meditation before I start work in earnest. Sometimes I skip it. Sometimes I muddle through it. Today I chose to stay and invest, and to focus on my attention on a question that had been looming in my mind — the core thesis for my upcoming book. Within minutes of my choosing to shut out the world, the model I was seeking floated before my eyes. I breathed in awe as the pieces put themselves together and when I was sure it was complete (for now), I quietly went up to my office and got busy recreating it on my whiteboard.

It was amazing how easily it all came to the fore once I had committed to listening for it.

As I started recreating the framework from my mind on actual form, words and questions poured out of me faster than I could capture. Another choice point: I could have lost the moment in an instant, had I permitted myself to lose focus. After all, the volleyball coach had sent out the match schedule (talk about a magic-buster). I chose that nothing else mattered in this moment. Nothing was going to disrupt my flow.

This open and generous stream was not to be taken for granted and must be protected at all costs.

So how do we safeguard our energy, our flow, that undeniable connection with source, from ourselves and from the external world that is coming at us constantly? It’s a choice. An everyday practice of being deliberate and intentional about outcomes you want to create. And honoring the flow once it comes.

And no you can’t see my magical model yet. Wait for the book like everyone else :)